.living with eyes closed.

How soon is soon?!

2010-08-16T00:25:00.001-07:00

How soon is soon?!

Answer here

King of the World, or just Maui

2009-12-31T17:21:00.001-08:00

On Christmas day, I was Leonardo di Caprio (or Kate Winslet...), and I was the king of the world.

I spent Christmas in Hawaii, and I'm not gonna lie: spending Christmas in Hawaii is something I could get used to. There were a few moments of reluctance before my holiday, because change is always good, but I'm still a big tradition girl. But the reluctance all but disapeared when I felt the soft sand under my feet and hugged the family I've never spent the holidays with.

That family in fact arranged a snorkeling trip from Maui to the little island of Lana'i. I'm pretty much the opposite of a morning person, but waking up at 4:45 in the morning to catch that boat was worth it. There's something nice about drinking coffee mixed with hot chocolate on a boat, in Hawaii, on Christmas, and watching dolphins jump alongside you while the sun rises. We then took a tiny speedboat to reach The World's #1 Beach (of 2005) and I stood on the front, arms outstretched, making Leo and Kate look ridiculous.

Every beach in Maui was lovely, but the beach on Lana'i was like the Monterey Bay Aquarium thrust onto Hawaii's shores. Even if you don't like the hassles of snorkeling; the floppy flippers and the tight leaky mask, I promise you they all become worth it at that beach. I felt like a fish or a dolphin, gliding through the warmest water of December. I was so distracted gazing at the rainbows reflected on the sandy ocean bottom and trying to come up with my own names for all the beautiful fish, that I didn't even worry about checking around for sharks.

Perhaps more lovely than snorkeling on Christmas day is watching baby whales jump out of the water with their moms, or drinking a piña colada while frolicking in the waves. I can't really pick a favorite.

It was a good Christmas. I can't say the best, because there's so many more Christmases left to experience. But I enjoyed my holiday, I even enjoyed the company. I admit I couldn't stop thinking that it was mid-July, but that's what the climate in Hawaii does to you. I'm on a flight home right now, and the plane is twisting and turning and dancing around in the air due to bad weather and rainstorms in San Francisco. I can't exactly say I'd rather be in Hawaii when I love my city so much, but it was a nice change. There's a reason they call it paradise!

Formspring

2009-12-14T14:42:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything and everything!

http://formspring.me/emmacherry

Synesthesia

2009-12-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

When I was about 11, I read a book called “A Mango Shaped Space”. It was about a girl who was diagnosed with synesthesia: a phenomenon where you literally see colors, taste things, or hear sounds, when you see, hear, think about, or feel an object. For instance, if someone tells a person with Grapheme (color) synesthesia to think about the letter “A”, they might see a red cloud in front of them, because maybe, in their mind, the letter “A” is always red. Or, if someone with Lexical (gustatory) synesthesia hears the word “car”, they might always associate cars with scrambled eggs, because scrambled eggs are what they taste in their mouth. It’s confusing to explain, and impossible to understand, but one of those things that is so fascinating that you wish you had it, just to know more.

For a while after I read that book, I convinced myself I had synesthesia. I was overjoyed when I realized that I TOO saw colors when I thought of specific letters and numbers; and I still see those colors, but I know now that it doesn’t mean I have synesthesia.

I think it’s one of the most fascinating phenomena out there. It would be incredible to spend a day, if not longer, with synesthesia… to see all of the beautiful colors in the world, to taste all the tastes of the world, x100. Imagine petting a cat’s fur and seeing shimmers of light blue or yellow in front of you, or tasting lavender on your tongue. I suppose it’s like a 6trh sense: but the best of all 6th senses.

Let it snow!

2009-12-07T15:16:00.000-08:00

My dad woke me up this morning and told me to look outside. It was 6 AM, and it was pitch dark, but I stumbled, undressed, into the backyard. There was powdery white stuff in the trees, on the bushes, covering the hot tub. I ran to the front yard, and my car was absolutely coated with SNOW.

I think I might have screamed a little. Why?

1) It doesn't snow in Orinda,
2) It doesn't snow in Orinda,
and 3) It definitely doesn't snow in Orinda.

I live in a tiny Northern California suburb where it's sunny and 70 degrees on Christmas Day. Snow is not even a possibility. In second grade, it snowed, but nothing stayed on the ground. That was the day it snowed all over the state, even in sunny Los Angeles. But today, it actually snowed. And there was at least half an inch covering everyone's front yard. Driving to school was beautiful- it's about he time of year that everyone has Christmas lights up, and it was lovely seeing all the twinkling colored lights poking out of the sparkling snow. We had snowball fights and froze our hands making snow angels in English class- before it all started melting.

I don't know why the world decided to be so nice to me, but I am so thankful for the snow! I'm going to Hawaii for Christmas, and I'm happy about it, but I've never been on the beach, in the humidity, on Christmas itself. I'm kind of upset that I won't get a real Christmas with a real tree. So, winter decided to give me an early Christmas gift I guess- and sent me snow while I'm still here!

Mr. Monk And The Goodbye

2009-12-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

I've never had the chance to watch a show that I love end, simply because I haven't been alive long enough.

Monk ended last night. I've blogged about the show before, but this isn't just some run-of-the-mill episode review. It's actually over, done, finished. I think, as cheesy as this sounds, Monk inspired me in a way- it was the quirky, obsessive, incredibly annoying, but brilliant Adrian Monk who got me interested in using my powers of observation for something. I must admit I would make a very good detective- I don't think it's something I'll actually pursue any more, but it's something I would be good at if I tried. (that sounds more arrogant than I intended.)

I implore you to watch Monk if you haven't already. It's a show that combines suspense, affection, sadness, romance, and lots and lots of humor. I would absolutely love to go into a full-length synopsis of the final episode right now, but I'm confident that at least one of you will heed my advice and give the show a try! I wouldn't want to give anything away...

...okay, I take that back. I don't think I can help myself from writing at least a small review. Please abstain from reading past this point if you want to be smart and take my advice, and give the show a try. :)

......................................................................................................................................................................

The last episode was all a last episode should be. The only thing I can think of to complain about is how obvious a lot of it was (or maybe that's just me using my observation skills?). From the moment Judge Rickover used his pen to pick up Monk's wipe, it was blatantly obvious that the poison was on the wipes! Monk was the only one who touched them, they had been in the shopping cart at the grocery store, and the reason Monk's prognosis was looking up when he was in the hospital was because he didn't have his wipes with him. And when Trudy first mentioned the baby on the videotape, I was so sure that she was still alive, and that Rickover had lied to Trudy when he said she had died. I knew Monk would realize this too, and try to find his stepdaughter (is that what she was?); and he did do that.

I was surprised about who killed Trudy- that part wasn't so obvious. It was a good ending, though: not too stupid, not too unlikely and ridiculous. I thought Randy moving to live with Sharona in New Jersey was the cutest thing ever. They would make a great couple, however, I kind of doubt Randy's abilities as a police chief. He's lovable, but incredibly goofy.

The fact that Stottlemeyer and Natalie stayed with Mr. Monk made me happy. I was afraid the writers would do something ridiculous like make Natalie move somewhere with her sailor boyfriend, and have Monk just move on with his life and become normal. I was overjoyed when it ended with him going back to work at a crime scene, and, although his OCD wasn't as bad as usual, he still had a nervous tic here and there.

The montage at the very end of the episode was tear-jerking. It showed Monk's quirks and obsessions but also showed his rare "normal" moments. If you didn't cry when you watched that, I don't know what's wrong with you. (I'm looking at you, dad).

Overall, it was a lovely end to a lovely show. I hate to say "end", but I know this is it. It's just a shame that I only recently got interested in Monk- I would have loved to be fan in the Sharona era, right from the start.

Farewell, Mr. Monk! And good job, Tony Shalhoub. You deserve every television award out there. Besides the ones that should go to Arrested Development.

Postsecret?

2009-12-01T15:30:00.000-08:00

Everyone has secrets.

Vampire Weekend: 11/7/09

2009-11-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

It's time to update my concert list: Vampire Weekend needs to be added, and, they must be put down as the 3rd best performance I've been to.

I've never been front row at a concert: for some reason, at all the general admission shows I've been to, I've stuck to the middle of the pit, and never the very front. However, I waited in line for two hours on Saturday night (and I was 3rd in line), so I felt I had to take the last empty seat in the very front of the theater.

And it was hardly a theater. The entire place maybe held 100 people- and it was about twice as big as my bedroom, including the stage. I've never had a problem going to a concert alone, because it's the music I go for, not the company. However, I did meet some crazy drunk guys- if you can call that companionship!

Vampire Weekend came on 40 minutes late, and I was worried when they started their first song, and everyone stayed seated. I didn't let that bother me too much, though, and when they started playing the first notes of their 6th song of that night, everyone stood up on cue. Is there some secret concert code that I don't know about, that tells you exactly when to stand up?

The set list was wonderful (I knew what it was going to be from the moment I took my seat, because there were 4 of them taped to the stage less than a foot away from me). They didn't play my favorite song, but the rest of the show made up for it. I made eye contact with the bassist, Chris Baio, multiple times- and got a few smiles in return, and at the end of the show he tossed me his pick-- but my lousy catching skills showed when my drunk "friend" caught it instead.

Ezra and the rest of the band seemed to be in excellent moods. I'm still amazed that they played in the tiny city of Lafayette, just 5 minutes away from my house. I'm most certainly not complaining, however!

On my way to my car after the show, at 10:45, I noticed a group of concert-goers (mainly girls) waiting right outside the band's van. I joined them, and waited in the cold for half an hour, but then realized I was past my driving curfew and had to leave for home. Oh well- even though I didn't catch the pick and didn't meet the band, the show itself was a thousand degrees beyond brilliant!

You get a cookie if you can guess my favorite song that they didn't play... ^

La-La Land

2009-11-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

There was a gas leak outside my house last night.

There were workers and loud trucks from 1 pm to 3 am, and since in the past year I've transformed from being a very heavy sleeper to a very light sleeper, I had plenty of time to lie awake and think.

I live in la-la-land. I am such a dreamer. I always drone on about how "practicality is overrated", but there's a point when the dreaming needs to stop and reality must be faced. I have been slapped in the face with so many harsh realities lately that I'm appalled at myself for all the dreaming I've done.

I'm not only talking about death and destruction and war (I read this bone-chilling article in Rolling Stone last week about this killing spree that 3 ex-Iraqi soldiers went on in Colorado), but also about love and life. I conjure images and thoughts and wants and desires almost immediately in my head when I see something I like --that is the dreaming-- and when I realize it's unattainable, or that I misunderstood what someone was telling me; when it all crashes down on my head --those are the realities.

It's unfair to be born into a society where naivety is encouraged, and where fairytale dreams are forced upon you from the very beinning.

Cinderella falls in love with the prince, the dog you had went to a special farm where you're not allowed to visit it.

Dream, dream.

Cinderella spends the better part of her life as a servant and slave to her wicked stepmother, and the dog actually died but we didn't want to tell you...

Reality, reality.

Stupid gas leak- look at me being Ms. Pessimism all of a sudden.

Paranoia

2009-10-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

I've never been so aware of the fragility of the human body before.

Now that I'm taking physiology, I'm fully conscious of every movement that I make. When I sit down on a chair, I notice the way my spine sits against the hard metal or wooden back. When I lay curled up in bed, I notice how my arm is curved at my side and worry that if I fall asleep like that, the correct amount of blood won't reach my hand. Just when I thought my fingers were the only safe part of me left, we covered hand bones in physiology, and I compared the diagrams with my own fragile fingertips and knuckle joints.

Have you ever held a human pelvis? It sounds strange, but they're as light as a feather. I'm practically waiting for the day when I fall on my side and it all shatters. This might not be so worrying if I wasn't so despicably clumsy. All of this has made me want, and, at the same time, not want, to be a doctor even more. I don't understand people who are squeamish and squirm at any part of the human body that is not visible on the outside. We're amazing! We're like a 1,000 piece, 3D puzzle.

Blood is blood is blood. It's fluid that carries oxygen to help you breathe. Forget about all the gory horror movie stuff for a minute-- intestines are intestines. A brain is a brain is a brain.

Brilliant, I say.

2009-10-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

LA has grown on me.

I still can't stand the smog or the concrete or the commercialism, but I don't hate the place anymore. There was a time when I just wanted to get out of that city, and moving to Northern California indeed turned out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I can see why my brother is so excited about going to college there, though, because it really is one of the loveliest locations for a university.

It's weird that he's gone. I'm used to being the little sister, not the oldest (and only) kid in the house There's an empty void in the house, and I'm trying too hard to fill it up. I miss him, but I'm happy for him too. Hey, I don't have to share the car anymore!

I was immersed in the college world last weekend, and it made me antsy. I wish I could skip ahead to that time of life, because I love the thought of college. It's looming closer and closer and that excites me quite a lot- I'm ready for my own responsibilities and decisions, and, well, life.

Happy October!

Buy 1 Get One Free- September Concert Review(s)

2009-09-19T13:13:00.001-07:00

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier...

I saw The Killers last Saturday. If someone tied me up and forced me to rate the concerts I've been to from best to worse, The Killers would definitely be in my top 3. (As for my actual order, I'm not sure. Coldplay, Death Cab for Cutie, and Sigur Ros are all up there too). But there was something just so perfectly concert-ish about The Killers' performance. Everyone I could see in the venue was standing up, singing, moving, jumping, screaming, whatever. And the age range was incredible! I saw toddlers enjoying the show with their grandparents next to them.

A highlight was when the handsome and sexy Brandon Flowers decided to leap off the stage and venture into the clingy and eager crowd. Unfortunately, he chose to do that on the exact opposite side of the amphitheater from me, but it's such a cuddly little place that I was close enough anyway. Another highlight was the confetti-filled "All These Things That I've Done", because the big, overplayed hits that everyone knows always seem to be most excellent live. Overall, it was an excellent night with an excellent audience and an excellent atmosphere.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the Arctic Monkeys gig I went to on Wednesday. Maybe it's because I've been extremely sick lately (and I'm still not recovered), but there was something about the Arctic Monkeys concert that I couldn't enjoy. Granted, it took place on a school night in a busy week, and granted, our seats weren't too great (until we moved, that is), but still, the gig overall failed to meet my somewhat high expectations.

The location, the opening band, and the music itself were all wonderful. I finally got to go to Oakland's famous Fox Theater, which is a trippy little place with three separate balconies and giant buddha statues flanking the rainbow stage. It definitely provided for great photo opportunities. The opening band, a group of four girls called L!ke, were pleasantly awesome. (note to self: must look them up on youtube). The Arctic Monkeys, complete with the ever-adorable Alex Turner, were also awesome, they delivered a brilliant performance. The crowd, however, sucked.

My seats were in the highest balcony, but I was able to sneak down into the lowest balcony right away. I got a good view of the pit, which looked terrifyingly fun, but it also looked like one of those things you have to be stoned to actually enjoy. All 3 balconies were ridiculous. Everyone sat for the entire concert, and clapped politely at the end of each song. No one sang along at all, and no one so much as bobbed their head to the beat. I was gutsy enough to stand up once, but got glares from people behind me, so I sat back down for the rest of the show.

I don't mean to blame the Arctic Monkeys, who were excellent, but I had a fairly disappointing night. At least compared to the Killers, Wednesday's concert was as far from "concert-ish" as possible.

(I'm sorry for all the concert reviews lately! 2009 has been an insanely packed concert year for me, and it's not over yet. :D There's the Treasure Island Music Festival coming up next month, not to mention Chris Martin at the Bridge School Benefit concert...)

The Newest Installment In High School Tragedy

2009-09-11T18:32:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, my English teacher was escorted out of class for having sex with a minor, and was arrested.

I'm not sure what to think. It's kind of crazy when your whole world turns upside down and someone you liked and respected immensely suddenly becomes a stranger.

He probably was, and still will be remembered as the greatest teacher at my school. It's not everyone who can make puns about the plot of 'The Last of the Mohicans' and simultaneously keep 98 students awake and alert.

And then you wonder about his family. His two little kids, his wife. Or the girl he he played around with. Is what happened his family's fault? Is it the girl's fault? It is his own fault?

When 'Law & Order SVU' is transposed into a real life situation, I feel a lot more insignificant than I do when watching Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T cracking a case on pedophilia on the TV.

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/east_bay&id=7009471

Hi

2009-09-10T22:27:00.001-07:00

I've been a bad blogger lately. My life is currently filled with to-do lists, and "blog more!" keeps appearing on them.

I've been really happy lately. It's the last part of summer that's always the best; for me, the most enjoyable days are the ones that are supposed to go in the compost pile of summer- the extras that are usually discarded as nothing special.

But even though they haven't been significantly magical, I'm enjoying life a little bit more.

School started nearly two weeks ago! It's had it's ups and downs, but overall, I'm happy to be back.

I've been reading the most lovely book, recommended to me by a friend: 'Hopscotch' by Julio Cortazar. It practically defines stream-of-conciousness writing, and even though half of it doesn't make sense, and even though the layout is from another world, it's one of those things that just becomes more beautiful the longer you stare at it.

I was up at the lovely California coast over the weekend. It's little coastal towns like Mendocino and Petaluma that make me re-realize California's beauty. I've been noticing California's beauty a lot lately, actually. I've come to the conclusion that there's only one place in the world that I'd trade living here for. Any guesses where?

While the waves crashed on the beach and the fog disappeared and reappeared every 3 minutes, I watched 'Man On Wire', one of the most brilliantly directed documentaries I've ever seen it. If you haven't seen it, go rent it (unless you're terrified of heights). It's about a young Frenchman who tightrope walks between the two towers of the World Trade Center, without any supports, a harness, or protection. Everything from the music to the reenaction scenes is incredible.

I've had such a new perspective on life lately. I feel determined and refreshed. Who wants to join me? It's a lovely feeling!

pt. 2

2009-08-19T20:42:00.001-07:00

(Finland was beautiful. Helsinki is a pretty but small city, and we didn't see very many spectacular sights. It was nice to enjoy the woodsy parks, small fishermans coves, and empty cobblestone streets, though.

The next day we arrived in Stockholm. Everybody told me to go to Gamla Stan, the famous Old Town, so I specifically picked a tour that included free time in that part of the city. However, after only 2 hours of a 7 hour tour, I had to head back to the ship because my grandma felt too tired to continue on. (nothing new).

The trip went by quickly, too quickly. Before I knew it, the 2nd day at sea was coming to a close, and I realized I only had one more full day in Europe and just a few more hours to spend time with my newfound friends.

Hamburg was definitely worth the two hour bus trip we took to get there. Again, I got to experience the lovely German countryside, and I felt like I was being written in to a Brother's Grimm fairytale.

I enjoyed the sites of Hamburg, but I can't say the same about the food. We spent some time in the red light district (St. Pauli), where The Beatles played their first gig, which was kind of an awkward place to be with your grandma. I'm sure you can figure out why. We then went to a traditional German restaurant and were told to enjoy traditional German food. It's not really my cup of tea.

On the way back to the shop, I realized how sad I was that I'd be heading home the next day. I'm usually not too emotional at the end of a vacation (I embrace the chance to enjoy my warm bed and unlimited wi-fi), but this time I felt different.

If there's one thing I hate, it's saying goodbye.

pt. 1

2009-08-12T14:07:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here on a San Francisco bound airplane, watching magic unfold in front of me. Maybe it's because it's only six in the morning, but there's a sense of peace, and everyone is in their own little world.

I love window seats. I love watching the world go by, staring down at cotton candy clouds and blankets of fog that look like fresh snow. Right now, the sky is pastel pink, and the morning sun is just starting to rise. There's beautiful little shafts of gold bouncing around the inside of the plane, and there's a rainbow prism on the back of someone's head.

My trip is over. In an hour, I'll (finally!!!) be back home.

You know those trashy summer romance novels that you find on a little rotating book stand in a 7-Eleven? My trip can best be described as straight out of one of those.

We arrived at the airport in Washington DC eleven days ago, expecting to go straight to Copenhagen. Instead, we stated for more than 24 hours at the airport, went to a hotel, and a day and a half later caught a flight to Berlin. Despite missing the first day of my cruise, I had a really good trip. Berlin was nice enough, but due to extreme jet-laggedness, I wasn't able to fully appreciate it.

The German countryside is beautiful. It was a 3 hour train-ride from Berlin to the port where our cruise ship was waiting, and I felt like a girl in a 19th century movie, bouncing across train tracks and through cow-dotted cornfields.

After Berlin came Estonia, which is truly one of the world's cutest countries. There's not much to say about Tallinn, the city we saw, but picture a little cobblestone-ridden town in the South of France, and you've pretty much got it.

The thing I like about going on cruises is how much freedom you have. You don't have to go somewhere unless you want to, you can sit and be a recluse on a lonely balcony, staring at the sea. Or, you can go to the nearest piano bar and dance to 80's music.To each his own.

A relaxing day at sea followed Estonia, and I was finally able to settle in, relax, and meet a few people before going to St. Petersburg.

Russia is amazing. I can't truthfully say that because it's such a giant country, but I loved the 75 square miles that I saw! Half of St. Petersburg is industrial army barracks from the Cold War, and half of it is very reminiscent of that fabulous Disney movie, 'Anastasia'.

We ventured to at least 6 overly-extravagent gold palaces (the Russian tzars each had at least 2 palaces, one for the winter and one for the summer, and usually a spring and fall one too), and I have to admit that after about the 3rd one they got a tinyyyy bit old, but still. I'm glad I was able to see them.

And then, as soon as we arrived in St. Petersburg, we were being herded straight back to the ship, with 5 more days to go and 4 more countries to visit...

...to be continued....

Liberated

2009-07-27T00:27:00.000-07:00

I feel free! My driving test was today (don't you remember when I was blogging about just learning to drive?) and very very fortunately, I passed. Although, I admit, after the first 3 minutes of the test I was convinced that I'd failed. My instructor made me back up 4 separate times before she let me actually drive anywhere. But either she was really nice or the DMV changed their rules, because I passed after missing only 8 points.

On Friday, I had my first ever gallery show, which unfortunately marked the end of my film photography class. The show was lovely, though, and even though I only had a few select prints up, it made me proud to see them displayed for the public nevertheless.

I've felt kind of useless the last couple of days. Maybe it's because my class is over and I can actually embrace summer by sleeping until noon, or maybe it's just because I'm in one of those awkward periods of time between two big things. But hopefully I'll feel energetic and refreshed by Thursday, because that's when I happen to be flying down to LA, driving from Burbank to LAX, and hopping on a plane to Copenhagen!

My trip to Europe is coming quickly, and I haven't even started packing (unusual for me). But I'm excited for the change of scenery and the freedom it'll provide- it's liberating when you're a teenager to be on a cruise ship in a foreign country, without any parental supervision...

...we'll leave it at that.

Euphoria

2009-07-19T02:08:00.000-07:00

All my blog posts lately have been either concert reviews or trip diaries. Sorry. I can't guarantee it's gonna end any time soon, though, what with my trip to Europe in a few weeks! Anyway, the following bit of writing is a Coldplay review I did for a contest. It's long and filled with a bunch of Coldplay fan jargon, but feel to browse through and read some of the key highlights from my concert last Monday!

The Webster Dictionary defines euphoria as "a feeling of happiness, confidence, or well-being, sometimes exaggerated in pathological states as mania". Euphoria can be different for everyone. To some, euphoria is winning your final soccer match and making it to the national championships. Euphoria is getting your prized painting entered into a gallery contest; watching a loved one get married. Euphoria is falling in love or going to Paris. Euphoria is making your first TV appearance. Euphoria is having the time of your life at a concert put on by a band you love.

I arrived at the Shoreline Amphitheatre at 6:16 PM, but the euphoria kicked in way before that. I decided to entertain myself during the opening acts by playing "I Spy" with the roadies- and I was able to discover 8 of them.

At exactly 9 PM, after sitting through boiling hot sun and mosquitos for three hours, my heart began to flutter. I heard the opening notes of Strauss's "The Blue Danube", and I knew that four incredible people would be on the stage in front of me in just minutes, playing the chords and notes of "Life In Technicolor".

From there, time moved way too quickly. After the incredible opening song ended with a bang and revealed a split second moment of silence, Chris Martin started up again, belting out the lyrics to "Violet Hill" and sounding like he was thoroughly enjoying himself. After "Violet Hill" came "Clocks", a classic that was set to fancy laser shows and bright red lights. The crowd knew every word, and things were seeming more spectacular by the minute.

Euphoria was at it's highest (or so I thought) when Will Champion started banging on the drums for "In My Place". Chris, who seemed just about as euphoric as I was at this point, decided to show off his signature moves on the catwalk, and stumbled halfway into the crowd while doing so. I wasn't sure whether I should have laughed at his silly somersaults and backwards rolls, or screamed at the fact that he was so damn close to me. But before I could make up my mind, he collapsed in a heap on the stage (while simultaneously singing the opening words of "Glass of Water").

And then came "Yellow"! The band put on what seemed like an entire separate show for just that one song, complete with gigantic yellow balloons, singing lessons for the crowd, and multiple showers of yellow confetti.

"42"'s magical repeating lyrics had an audience who had never heard the song before chanting along, and "Cemeteries of London" brought humor to the show when Chris decided to play around with the lyrics for the enjoyment of the audience. And then, finally, came one of the most cliche but beautiful moments of the show-- "Fix You". Chris started out on his own, until Jonny, Guy, and Will eventually joined in. As the song came to it's climax, Chris paused and let the crowd fill in the gaps he left in the lyrics. Even the people behind me, who had been sitting down for the whole concert, stood up and joined in.

After "Fix You" was "Strawberry Swing", which was upbeat, beautiful, and felt perfect with the warm Californian air. "Strawberry Swing" was about halfway through, when I felt someone bump me and turned around to see that the security guards next to me were carefully stringing caution tape all along the aisle. My mind automatically jumped to the conclusion that someone had passed out or fainted nearby, until I put two and two together when I saw Hoppy, a roadie, run past me with a mic stand. It was just as "Strawberry Swing" was ending when I realized that Coldplay would be running up the aisle inches away from me on their way to play their intimate B-Stage set. And this is when the euphoria became mania. Every light on the stage went off, and I had just seconds to position myself next to the caution tape alongside me before Jonny, Will, and Guy came bounding past me.

Even though they were there and gone in a split second, time seemed to be in slow-motion as I reached out and gave Jonny Buckland a hi-five, and as I reached out and did the same to Will Champion. And then, 3 slow seconds later came Chris Martin, bounding past me, microphone in hand. Time was still moving wonderfully slowly as I reached out for a third time and grabbed Chris's upper arm. And then it was over. When I looked up, the band was playing a beautiful, techno-esque remix of "God Put A Smile Upon Your Face", with Chris pounding away at the piano. After the song finished, Guy, Will, and Jonny disappeared from the stage, but Chris remained to play us "The Hardest Part".

Quiet transitioned to loud and stirring when "Viva la Vida" started. Chris grabbed the microphone, hopped off the B-Stage, and ran right through the crowd (and right past me) to join the other three members of the band down on the regular stage, singing "I used to rule the world!" as happy fans reached out to touch him. "Viva la Vida" was rousing and exciting, and everyone sang as loudly as they could when we were directed to "oooh-ooh-oooh". After the last "oohs" faded away, Coldplay played one more song down on the regular stage ("Lost!"), before heading up to give their fans on the lawn a special treat. "Green Eyes" was chillingly beautiful, and afterward Chris handed the microphone to Will, and let him belt out the lyrics to "Death Will Never Conquer".

Perhaps one of the best moments of the night was when Chris announced that they'd be playing a song that was better than anything they could ever write. I don't think anyone was really expecting a Michael Jackson song to be covered at a Coldplay concert, but the crowd was happily surprised when "Billie Jean" started up, and most people began dancing and singing as a tribute to the King of Pop.

As soon as the spotlights on the lawn went off, the audience went crazy. Everyone was trying to locate Coldplay, and some people thought the show was over and began to trail out. After a good seven minutes, the band reappeared down on the regular stage, flashing strobe lights, banging drums, and milking "Politik" for all it was worth.

And then came the moment that everyone who knew anything about Coldplay and their 2008/2009 Viva la Vida tour was waiting for. "Lovers in Japan" started up, and within minutes the entire amphitheatre was covered in little paper butterflies. And they just kept coming. The confetti rained down, Chris ran around waving a Japanese parasol, and every member of the audience had their hands to the sky, trying their hardest to catch hundreds of little phosphorescent strips of paper. As abruptly as "Lovers in Japan" started it finished, but the butterflies still rained down during "Death And All His Friends".

Even though at this point the stage went dark and roadies started to appear, packing up all the instruments, the crowd was relentless and stayed seated. Soon a chant for Coldplay could be heard, and everyone who wasn't chanting was on their feet screaming. And, in no time, Chris appeared at his piano, saying a few words to the crowd and mentioning the live CD that could be picked up at the exit.

Two more songs were played for the encore; "The Scientist", which had people swaying back and forth, eyes closed, and "Life in Technicolor ii", the sequel to the song that opened the show. Chris, Will, Guy, and Jonny put every part of their hearts into making "Life in Technicolor ii" as epic as they could. I watched Coldplay bow as they finished the song, and, filled with a feeling way beyond euphoria, I tried to think of a better way for such a magical night to end. And, quite simply, I couldn't.

Ta-daaa! I typed that up on my ipod in about an hour, actually, so I'm afraid it doesn't flow very well. Oh well.

I want to live where soul meets body

2009-07-15T23:10:00.001-07:00

...and let the sun wrap it's arms around me

Remember, a few months ago, when I blogged about Ben Gibbard and his utter genius? Well, he was at it again. But this time, I got to experience it personally.

There's something about good music and crazy people and rain and rainbows and lots and lots of lights that fills you with happiness. On Saturday night I saw Ra Ra Riot (an incredible opening act), Andrew Bird (an even more incredible opening act, and it was his birthday!) and Death Cab For Cutie, who just about blew me away with their brilliance.

However, my ultimate weakness at concerts seems to be the fact that I can't get the camera away from my face. I'm always (unfortunately) determined to record all my favorite songs and moments, which results in me enjoying myself less than I should. But at least, this way, I can re-live the concert over and over, right?

The best thing about Saturday night was the rain. I think the concert gods (or the rain gods) love me, cos it poured at the most beautiful and most perfect moment last year when I saw Sigur Ros, and then a few nights ago, while Andrew Bird was going crazy on a violin solo, the rain suddenly appeared, even though the golden evening sun was still shining, and even though it was just under 80 degrees outside. And then, just as Andrew Bird played the last note of his setlist, the rain suddenly stopped, and everyone turned and stared at the most beautiful rainbow.

As concerts go, it was pretty awesome. Especially since the Greek Theater is all general admission, and I got there early enough to be right in the center of the pit. And also because, since it was Berkeley, nearly everyone was stoned or drunk or some combination of the two, which resulted in an amazing crowd (haha) and lots of people eager to sing along. Overall, it was an awesome night. Maybe the best moment of the night was when people started waving their lighters during I'll Follow You Into The Dark, or maybe it was when Ben started improvising during Grapevine Fires. Who knows, it was all super, super good.

(hopefully that wasn't too long and boring-- just wait until you see my Coldplay review from Monday night!)

Fireworks make me think of you

2009-07-04T23:13:00.001-07:00

I always thought it would be fun to be one of those people who launch fireworks. It would be so cool knowing that some little thing that you set off provided such awesomeness and entertainment for thousands of people.

The 4th of July this year wasn't nearly as eventful as it usually is. I slept in, I didn't go to any barbecues, I didn't get near a pool or a beach, and the only remotely patriotic thing I did was watch thousands of tiny particles of sulfur and potassium make colorful shapes in the sky. But all of the boredom and frustration I had to go through today was worth it, just for those little explosions in the sky.

This week has been so busy, and it doesn't even feel like summer. Isn't the purpose of summer break to relax and lay back? I've been on my feet all week (literally, in a darkroom), but at least I'm having fun.

Being a college student is fun. I can't really say that just yet, because I haven't had the full experience, but I'm taking a pre-college class at a well-known art college, and I totally feel like I belong there. There's no rules; no boundaries or limits. It's refreshing.

And the class is awesome. In the past week I've developed nearly 100 prints, just for the fun of it. It's amazing to me how easy it is to take a negative and turn it into an 8x11 glossy photograph. For someone who likes photography so much, it's strange that I still can't comprehend how a big black piece of plastic and metal can make a beautiful image with the click of a button. But maybe someday, I'll learn. For now, I'm taking an art class, not physics.

Days Two & Three

2009-06-26T20:00:00.001-07:00

I am now officially part of a museum exhibit.

On Tuesday, we ventured to the Met, which I initially wasn't too excited about. But there are some parts that I really liked, and now I can offficially say I've been to the Metropolitan Museum of Art! Plus, I discovered the painter Francis Bacon, who had some awesome but creepy work.

We then decided to be extremely touristy, and took the Staten Island Ferry for a panoramic view of Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty.

The past two days have been humid. Really humid. It feels like Hawaii in the dead of summer rather than the east coast of the US. We regretted deciding to visit Ground Zero when we realized that involved walking 20 blocks in 90 degree weather.

For dinner on Thursday we went to Nobu, an awesome and apparently famous Japenese restaraunt in SoHo. I was told to keep my eye out for celebrities, because last time my dad was here he shared a table with Alec Baldwin. We didn't see anybody extremely famous, although a guy in the corner had two bodyguards and arrived in a stretch limo.

SoHo and Greenwich village are fantastic little hangout places, but not the greatest locations to be walking around with your dad. If you're ever in the area, be sure to stop at Magnolia Bakery-- I've never had better cupcakes.

Last night we continued being the tourists that we are, and went to the top of the Empire State building. The doorman claimed they closed the door at 11, but at 10:45 people were still pouring in. If there's one experience I don't recommend, it's waiting in long lines to see a view of New York City that you can see from at least 10 other places. On the bright side, it was clear, and we could see for miles.

And today we woke up to rain. We just finished at the MOMA, which beats San Francisco's MOMA by a LOT. I am so inspired right now, it's crazy. There were so many brilliant contemporary paintings at the MOMA, and I fully plan on looking some of them up when I get home. I never knew I liked art so much. And there was a huge white room, where I was invited to write my name on the wall at my height mark. If you're ever there, look for it!

We just had a fancy French lunch in Chelsea, and it's too hot to move. Tonight is 'Wicked', so it's about time to head back to the hotel to get changed... one more day in NYC.

Day One

2009-06-24T16:12:00.001-07:00

One of my best qualities is probably the fact that I never ever ever get jet-lagged. You can take me anywhere, and no matter the time zone or time change, it won't throw me off.

And so I woke up this morning bright and early at 8 AM, ready to explore the city. We went to Rockefeller Center before breakfast, and the view from the top was probably the best view I've ever seen. I feel like a local now, because after all the walking we did today (which was a LOT), I've learned the names and locations of what feels like 50% of New York's streets.

We then ventured to Central Park, and after walking through the greenest place I've ever seen, my feet just about fell off. On the other end of the park (Harlem), we toured Columbia, which just enhanced my wishes to go there for college some day.

I then got to see Greenwich Village and SoHo, and they're both like a hipper, richer version of Berkeley. (awesome)

And a trip to New York wouldn't be complete without a visit to B&H, the world's biggest camera store! I bought 4 more rolls of Holga film there, which I guess means film is winning the battle over digital for me. Which also means I'm kind of screwed, because by the next time I pick up the newspaper, I'm going to find out that ALL film distribution has been cancelled.

And now for dinner. My feet are soaking in warm water right now, even though I wore socks and walking shoes all day. I guess all the rain made my shoes shrink, or something. Let's just hope I don't die of pain while walking down Broadway tonight!

A prelude to an adventure

2009-06-24T08:51:00.001-07:00

I think I'm in love.

After an hour and a half in New York City, the following are my observations:

Plane rides sure are bumpy during thunderstorms.

The city smells. I can't exactly place it, but there's a strong scent of garbage, smoke, and perfume.

There's hardly any homeless people, compared to San Francisco. I only had three men on the sidewalk tell me 'nice legs' and ask for change tonight.

Being a tourist is fun! I think everyone needs to embrace tourism at some point in their lives; complete with disposable cameras and map books. I bought two Kodak disposable cameras tonight, in fact. The only lens I have for my digital camera is an 85mm, which is super super bad for cityscapes. So I resorted to cheap plastic film toys, and I'm proud of it.

Eating a pretzel in Times Square is the perfect way to spend 11:30 PM on a Tuesday night.

I took a sleeping pill about half an hour ago, and I think it's about to kick in and knock me out. We'll see how I feel about the Big Apple in the daytime.

Free

2009-06-14T22:40:00.001-07:00

I'm on my second day of summer vacation, but it doesn't feel like it. Everything is so surreal right now... It doesn't seem like my brother graduated from high school last night. I can't imagine how unreal it will feel when I'm in his position.

But, it's only day two, and I've already put the finishing touches on my jam packed schedule. I'm going to make the most of this summer, even on my time at home-- I'm going to make sure it's excellent.

I'm really inspired with life right now. And I'm so excited for whatever I have ahead of me! Today I reviewed my concert plans for the next few months. I have Death Cab For Cutie, Ra-Ra Riot, and Andrew Bird in early July. And then Coldplay not too long after. And then, jumping ahead to the beginning of September, I'll be seeing The Killers! I also might be seeing Of Montreal live at the end of July, but nothing is finalized yet.

In one week I'm going to New York City. I can remember dreaming about going there when I was younger, and now I'm finally getting the chance. I have no idea what I'll be doing there, but I've learned to embrace improvisation.

I think I'll start a little trip diary in New York, and maybe I'll be able to continue it in Europe. That should get me writing again. And thanks to the lovely world of technology, I can do it all straight from my trusty iPod touch.

I feel free!

Two deaths, one week

2009-05-25T22:20:00.001-07:00

On Saturday, May 16th, my uncle died of a stage 4 malignant brain tumor. I went to a memorial service for the first time ever a few days ago. I was scared beyond belief, because seeing other people cry usually makes me cry. But it wasn't nearly as awkward and terrifying as I anticipated, and although it still hasn't really hit me that my uncle is gone, I'm glad I went and saw my family.

On Saturday, May 23rd, a boy in my class was found passed out from alcohol poisoning at a friend's rugby party. The friend gave him CPR and then left him on the couch. When he checked on him a while later, he was dead. There's going to be a school-wide memorial service later this week.

Out of these two deaths, I think the kid's has affected me the most. I hardly even knew him. Maybe it's because he was younger, because it wasn't a disease that killed him, because his name was all over the news today. I don't really know.

It's been a weird week.

The end, for now

2009-05-19T22:52:00.001-07:00

On Thursday night, the 5th season finale of Grey's Anatomy aired. I only have three words to say about it: oh my god.

The rest of this blog post is a recap/prediction and will be full of spoilers, so if you a) haven't seen it yet but are planning to, or b) couldn't care less, I recommend you stop reading right now!

To start with, that was probably the most shocking and the most tear-jerking two hour TV episode I have ever seen. If I were to give a recap of the double episode in just a few sentences, it would probably be something along the lines of this: Izzie decided to have potentially dangerous surgery, came out fine and tumor-free, but then started having very short term memory. Meanwhile, after operating on a soldier and working with Hunt, George decided to leave Seattle Grace and become a trauma doctor in the army. Then, some man came in who got dragged by a bus after jumping in front of it to save a girl. After quite a while of operating on him, Meredith finds out that the dying man is actually George. Right as she figures this out, Izzie gets her memory back. And right after Izzie gets her memory back, she starts coding and dying. And right after everyone figures out that George is about to die, HE starts coding and dying. And then, while they're both coding and dying, Izzie is shown standing in an open elevator wearing her prom dress, and George is shown standing outside of the elevator wearing his new military uniform. Izzie is shown mouthing "come with me", but George just stands there.

Okay, that was a little more than a few sentences. But now for my predictions! I don't think both Izzie and George will die- I can see the writers killing off one main character, but two? I doubt it. However, I think Izzie will finally die. I'm not happy about it, but I think after all this scary cancer-filled season, they're not just going to have her go on living. George, on the other hand, will live. He was seeing wearing his army uniform, which symbolizes his future in the war, and was standing outside of the elevator. Izzie, though, was wearing the dress she wore when Denny died, which symbolizes the fact that she's moving on to the "other side" to be with him. Plus, she was in the elevator, which was going up and away. George was staying in the hospital.

Now if only I could analyze things that well on my English essays.

And now I'm off to watch the season finale of NCIS. And then the season finale of The Mentalist. And then, maybe someday, I'll stop watching crime TV amd get back to the real world. But it's highly unlikely.

2009-05-17T22:16:00.000-07:00

When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina, just like almost every other little girl. Every Christmas, I'd go to the Los Angeles Opera House and watch The Nutcraker with my grandma. I had dreams about one day being like Clara.

When I was 4, my parents enrolled me in gymnastics and I thought it was just about the best thing ever invented. I couldn't do the balance beam because I'd always fall off, and I couldn't do flips because I wasn't flexible enough. But I loved it anyway. And then, one Saturday morning, I went to the gymnastics studio wearing my bright blue leotard and ready for action, when they pulled me aside and told me I could no longer be a part of their team because I was too tall, and only short people could do gymnastics.

And lately, I've been thinking about that day, and wondering if I'm actually good enough to be what I want to be. I know in my heart that my biggest desire really is to become a famous photographer. But I don't know if I truly have what it takes. Not just in the talent department, but eveywhere else. Lately, I haven't been confident, motivated, inspired. I've been stressed and I've been worrying too much, and it's causing my creativity to be blocked.

So, the question I have, is do I have what it takes to be that ballerina? Did I ever?

Starving Artist

2009-05-11T22:15:00.001-07:00

10 years ago, when my mom started emptying film canisters out of the refrigerator and replacing all the AA batteries in the house with digital rechargable battery packs, I'm sure she never once imagined that her daughter would one day favor film cameras over digital.

But it's true- even after a brief period of time when people thought digital photography would take over the world- film came back. And now, ten years later, here I am, lusting over old film photos and patiently waiting for a call from the camera store telling me my film is ready to be picked up.

There's just something about film that is just so irresistible. And that's why for the past week, I've been ignoring my poor digital camera and bounding around the city taking black and white Holga shots of everything in sight instead.

Someone, save me! It may be a fun alternative to all the modern day technology, but it's not exactly the cheapest industry to take part in.

And speaking of saving, I've been needing some lately. Artistically, I'm a mess. I don't know where all my creativity and inspiration went- but they're absolutely no where to be found. I can't seem to write, I can't seem to take any pleasing photographs (minus my recent film shots), and everything related to art and creative expression has been lost on me lately. I'm in serious need of some saving... I've never gone this long without inspiration before.

Reconnecting with my European roots

2009-05-05T23:16:00.001-07:00

This makes me sound spoiled (and I'm not, I promise you)-- but about a month ago, when I looked at the calendar for this summer and saw absolutely no trips marked down on it, I got a little sad.

I've gone somewhere outside of the continental US every summer for as long as I can remember. It's a tradition, more or less. But until this morning there was nothing scheduled, so I was subjected to some impromptu planning today.

And as a result of my expert trip planning skills, this August I will be going to Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Germany, Estonia, and Russia! (specifically: Copenhagen, Helsinki, Stockholm, Berlin, Hamburg, Tallin, and St. Petersburg).

Unfortunately, I know nothing about these places- except for random tidbits I learned in 9th grade European history. So, if you've ever been (or live in) any of the above locations, don't hesitate to comment with whatever info you want. I need to get into the more specific planning details, as soon as I possibly can. And if you give me some really good stuff, I *might* just let you stow away in my suitcase.

Pain

2009-05-03T16:10:00.001-07:00

About 6 months ago, when they diagnosed my uncle with a stage 4 malignant brain tumor, they told us he'd only live for a month, max. Now it's been 5 more months than that, and he's still alive... but only barely.

I feel like I'm on an episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'. All I've been hearing about lately are blood clots, strokes, amputation, aneurysms, and gangrene.

I just don't think someone should live when they're on morphine and breathing machines 100% of the time. When they're having two heart attacks a week. When they can't talk and they can't comprehend even the most basic things.

So I've more or less lost hope- I almost want them to end it for him, he doesn't deserve to suffer this much. But no matter how hard it is for my aunt to see her husband like this, my cousins to see their dad like this, my newborn cousin-once-removed to see his grandpa like this, my dad to see his brother like this- I don't think anyone has the strength to pull the plug just yet.

It's sad.

So don't complain about how boring your life is, about how you don't want to go grocery shopping, about how you don't want to walk all the way out to the mailbox to get your mail. Because, what I've learned, is that some people would give everything just to do those things one more time.

Formerly known as Hippie-Town

2009-04-28T22:31:00.001-07:00

And, nowadays, more appropriately known as Indie-Town.

I am so so lucky to live where I live, and I hardly ever take advantage of it like I should. My city is about a 10 minute drive from Berkeley, and only 20 minutes from San Francisco. For those of you who have only heard of the name, Berkeley is the most famously liberal city out there. You're not having a normal day until you see a group of naked people at a tattoo parlor, or some homeless men building tree houses at the park. So why do I wish I went there more often?

To be honest, I'm not really sure. I practiced my driving skills (which are super excellent, by the way) there on Saturday, and I kept wanting to hop out of the car and join in on the excitement. I could hear record stores blasting indie bands, I saw women sitting next to the tie dye vendors and selling vintage clothing on the street, and I saw craziness, danger, and excitement. And lots and lots of people. (it helps that my favorite camera store in the world is in the heart of Berkeley.) it was just all around an excellent experience- and I was only driving through in the confines of a car.

So, I strongly suggest, that if you're ever in California, the first place you should go (after you come say hi to me, that is) is Berkeley. Even before you go to San Francisco.

...unless you're some super freaky conservative type. In which case, you probably shouldn't even be allowed to read my blog.

I bought an iPod touch!

2009-04-27T22:13:00.001-07:00

...and I'm attempting to blog from it. Let's see if this works.

(it's a sad day when I have nothing but my iPod to blog about.)

Bruises

2009-04-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

Two years ago, I kept having terrible pains in almost every joint on my body. My ankles hurt, my knees hurt, my wrists hurt, my shoulders hurt, my back hurt, my neck hurt. It wasn't bad enough that I couldn't walk, but still- whenever I tried moving I was pretty sore. So naturally, I freaked out, and started searching my symptoms on google. I read about rheumatoid arthritis, which didn't quite fit, and then I read about lyme disease. I had been walking through a field a few weeks before, so I convinced myself that an infected tick had bit me. A week later, the pain went away.

Less than a year ago, I noticed that there was a big lump on the left side of my torso, where the bottom rib is supposed to be. It was much bigger than the rib on the other side, and they didn't match up at all. I thought it might be a tumor (in my defense, my mom thought so too), so eventually, I went to the doctor, who sent me to a radiologist, where I had an MRI and an ultrasound. The radiologist decided it was an extra rib, although, to be honest, he didn't sound very convinced.

And now, tiny and perfectly circular bruises are appearing all over my arms and legs. They've been fading from purple to light brown after a few days, but each time one fades, another appears.

Who knows, though. It's probably nothing. There's probably some complex psychological reason behind it, but I always seem to completely overreact when something is wrong with me.

...let's just hope these bruises don't mean leukemia. Or something equally scary.

Sweet 16

2009-04-14T21:58:00.000-07:00

It was a good one.

This weekend, I...

2009-04-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

-Won something for the first time in my life: 2nd place in my county's art contest, for one of my photographs. I got $250 and an interview with the local newspaper. The money is without a doubt going into my new camera fund!

-Went to Santa Cruz with my two best friends, and celebrated my (early) birthday eating cotton candy, going on roller coasters and giant swings, and flipping upside down on a ferris wheel.

-Sent 6 postcards into Post Secret, which is an organization/website that features artistically designed secrets from people all over the world. I'll blog about it if one of mine gets selected for the website.

-Dressed up as an aboriginal boy by painting my face and body black and white and sitting in a muddy pond, for a school photo project. My face is red and raw from all the scrubbing, but it was worth it for the photos! I'll post some before and after shots once they're uploaded.

-Bought Coldplay tickets! There was a glitch in the ticket selling system way back when the tickets for my venue first went on sale, so hardly anyone was able to buy good tickets. But livenation.com started re-selling tickets for the proper prices, and I bought two in section 1 of the amphitheater, with an excellent (and really close) view of the stage...

...I'm happy.

And Monk is STILL being cancelled

2009-04-10T15:52:00.001-07:00

You know that achy and pathetic sort of feeling you get when your most prized source of entertainment is... disappearing?

It's preposterous, really. Everyone knows that American TV's most famous detective, Adrian Monk (see the link for more information), isn't 100% happy without a nice, round number... like 10. Yet, at the end of this summer, the show is finishing... with only 8 seasons. In fact, it's silly enough that I would almost consider boycotting the whole 8th season. Almost.

On the topic of sources of entertainment, I watched A Clockwork Orange last night. I've never seen a more disturbing, more terrifying, and a more phenomenal movie. It scared me to the point where I had to close my eyes, but that's only because it was about reality- and it was easily relatable, in a twisted and creepy way. Even so, though, it was brilliant and incredible, and I urge all of you to see it... (as long as you're okay with full nudity, and explicit violence).

And now I'm off to Santa Cruz, California, to celebrate my birthday with a few friends. I shall blog about that experience when I return.

Back to regular programming

2009-04-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

...for the time being.

May I please just take this moment to say that Bloc Party are geniuses? It's like they know me, because all of their songs just seem to speak to me. ESPECIALLY this one.

Not necessarily the song itself, but at least just the title. Two more years. Those 3 words are very important to me, and I can bet money that everyone who is reading this (and, by the way, I deducted yesterday that I actually have 4 regular readers!) has a different guess as to why. I can safely say that only one of you is right.

Speaking of my deductive reasoning skillz in figuring out how many readers I have, I added a nifty thing to my blog called StatCounter. Now I can track you by country, city, internet server, and IP address.

I feel stalkerish.

I've decided...

2009-04-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

...that since I'll no longer be going to my Killers concert this April (it's a long story), I'm going to settle for no less than amazing seats at my Coldplay concert in July. Since my mom is selling the Killers tickets, I'm going to see if I can put her earnings in my Coldplay ticket fund. And if not, well, I'm gonna try and work for some good tickets. I have until early July to make about $400. I'm going to try and get some babysittig in (there's some new toddlers that just moved into my neighborhood), and maybe some pet sitting in June, when everyone is off travelling. (I even made flyers this afternoon!) But I'm afraid that even if I do earn money from all that, it won't be enough... so most of all, I want to start a photography business. Mostly for headshots and family portraits and stuff, but also for birthday parties and local events. I know a bunch of people who have made hundreds by taking headshots for actors and actresses, so I want to try and do the same. It's easy, and it pays well.

Now, hypothetically... if I do end up getting this money, I know exactly what I'm going to spend it on. I've been scouring ebay for months, trying to find an amazing deal on Coldplay tickets- and I finally found one. (actually, I'm a ticket buying virgin, so I don't know if it's an amazing deal or not, but compared to everything else I've seen it's pretty darn good). I'm not enclosing a link to the ebay page, just in case one of you decides you want to steal my good deal. :P But it's something along the lines of $400 for pit tickets, in the 6th row of the amphitheatre. I don't know a lot about concert seating, but this looks too amazing to give up.

Just weeks ago I thought I'd just settle for lawn tickets, but the more I listen to Coldplay, the more live performance youtube videos I watch, the more concert reviews I read, the more I know that this is what I really want. Yeah, you can't take away anything physical from concert experiences (besides maybe butterfly shaped confetti or a T-shirt) but you can take amazing memories home. And that's all I care about at this point.

My only task is to make the money... and to convince the ebay seller to hold the tickets for me until I do. Good luck, Emma.

April Fools?

2009-04-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've been thrown into the pits of boredom and have been forced to blog about April Fools day, of all things. :(

All lame blogging comments set aside, it was actually pretty good this year.

1) Coldplay.com
At the stroke of midnight, Coldplay announced that sometime later this year, they'd be recording with Brian Eno in zero gravity, presumably for something for their upcoming album. For the tiniest moment, they had me going (hey! I was tired), until I got about halfway down the article and read the bit where it said they'd be recording with an analogue cassette player from 1969. ...I wish.

2) Youtube.com
Ok, so it wasn't nearly as classic as Rick Rolling everyone, but youtube made me laugh this year by claiming they had a new layout, and flipping most of their videos upside down. It was kind of fun to watch The Beatles singing "I Am the Walrus" with Paul Mccartney the wrong way up.

3) Sigurros.com
Sadly, I knew this one was an April Fools joke before I even got the chance to see it, but it was still fun to read. According to the website, Sigur Ros would be recording 4 songs with Coldplay later this year, as part of Coldplay's new album. How cool would it be for Coldplay to release an album doing duets with Sigur Ros and playing the drums in zero gravity? Pretty cool, I think.

4) GOOGLE.com
My personal favorite prank today happened to be google... who announced an "Autopilot" that would personally respond to all your gmail messages.

I'll most likely be back to regular programming tomorrow. I have some concert updates for you all!

Los Angeles, I'm yours

2009-03-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

LA, here I come!

Spring break starts tomorrow! And I'm so glad- I really need a break right now. Not just from school, but from people... places, things. And, I'm going to L.A. to visit my grandma. This isn't anything unusual, seeing as we usually go every spring break, but I'm still the only one in my family who gets excited about it. Seeing my grandma isn't really the exciting bit, but there's something about Southern California that I still love, and still miss, ever since I moved away from there. I'd never trade living in San Francisco for living back down there, but every once in a while I get nostalgic and want to go visit the place where I was born again.

Anyway, this post isn't to tell you all (whoever "you all" even is) that I'll be gone again, because I'll have plenty of internet access down there, and I'll try to use that oppurtunity to blog a little more faithfully.

I just can't wait to get out of the rain and into the sun. I'm even excited for the smoggy hazy sky and all the damn traffic and pollution. No matter how visually unappealing LA is, some part of me will always love it there.

Now introducing Private Detective and Crime Scene Investigator, Special Agent Emma Cherry...

2009-03-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

I have this silly dream of becoming a detective some day. Well, something along the lines of a detective... think of a homicide investigator, a special field agent, a forensic specialist, and a crime scene technician all in one.

I'm almost positive that this weird dream of mind was triggered by the vast amount of crime shows I'm obsessed with. There's Monk (about an ex-cop living in San Francisco, who suffers from extreme obsessive compulsive disorder), NCIS (a show about a group of field agents working with the naval criminal investigative services, on various homicides), Psych (a hilarious crime show about a psychic who works closely with the police department), and of course, there's Law and Order. I'll also watch any other show that involves crime or vast amounts murder. But it's just TV- I'm a very gentle and sweet person, really. ;)

Anyway, all of those brilliant shows kind of sparked my interest in the criminal world, and now I'm set on being involved with it sometime in the future. I know every job I mentioned is highly dangerous, and a lot of people might think I'm crazy for wanting to wield a gun and poke around at dead bodies, but since I'm not scared or grossed out about that stuff, like the majority of the world is-- shouldn't I take advantage of that trait? Plus, I must admit that I have a pretty good eye for details, and other things that detectives are good at. Just this morning I deduced that my math teacher is defintiely a very weak person; there were lipstick marks on the cap of her water bottle, probably implying that she couldn't open it without using her teeth. :P

The only issue I have with this crazy dream of mine, though, is the fact that it's kind of hard to find a university that offers criminal investigation as a major. All of the places that I'm currently interested in don't offer anything remotely related... besides psychology. I am intersted in psychology, though, not to mention sociology- so maybe I'll try playing around in that one day. It never hurts to try, right?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

2009-03-12T20:07:00.000-07:00

In the past month, I've been offered two different exclusive contracts with photo agancies- Getty Images and Trevillion Images. It's really an honor. I never thought I'd be asked to use my photographs for stock photography, let alone to sell them to magazines and other companies. It's definitely a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing, and I truly appreciate these amazing offers. A lot. Plus, if I'm succesful and sell any work, I get like %70 percent of the royalties or something; and how exciting is that?!

But (you were waiting for the but, weren't you?), this is just one more thing that proves I'll probably never be able to stay in a professional job without getting fired. I'm just way too lazy. I've had these offers for over a month now, and I've hardly even started all the work involved. I have to fill out model realease forms, submit the images (over 50 total) digitally as well as in some kind of printed form, and I have to write specific photograph information and data for each submission. It's all very boring. And tedious. And frustrating.

So I've vowed not to blog again until I get this big pile of work out of the way, AKA: who knows when you'll hear from me again.

But, I don't want to come off as unappreciative. Like I said, this is a really big honor, and I'm extremely grateful. It's just, well... why must there be oh so much pointless work involved?

Random musings...

2009-03-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

...just because all my blog entries seem too planned (which, I confess, is because they are.)

1. Today was a beautiful beautiful day. The sun hasn't shined for 3 weeks, and all we've had here is constant rain, but today it was finally warm and sunny. Yay spring.

2. I got to go to San Francisco today. If it wasn't so close to home, I'd never leave this city. I really love it. I just fit perfectly in San Francisco. The people, the places, the crazy weather-- it's all brilliant to me. And today I got to be a tourist; I got to climb up to Coit Tower, and use one of those wacky telescope things to look at the view of the bay. I got to take a taxi, I got to get lost among all the huge skyscrapers of the financial district. It was awesome.

3. I finally came to the realization that shower curtains scare the hell out of me (stop laughing!) I know it seems like such a stupid and random fear, but I'm 100% serious. Maybe it's because of the movie Psycho; I don't know, but I'm always terrified that I'm going to open my eyes in the middle of washing my hair and see a figure silhouetted on the other side of the curtain, a knife in his hand. In fact, for the most part, I'm not able to take shower unless there's a nice happy glass door that lets me see what's coming for me.

4. Traveling. I realized how much I love it today, while finishing a Bill Bryson book (Neither Here Nor There, just for the record). I could go to Italy a 100 times and never get tired of revisiting the same cities, just because it's such a great change from whatever is at home.

5. I finally bought Coldplay tickets! And Killers tickets! And my friends mom is going to buy us U2 tickets! How cool is that?!

6. I'm in love. With a lot of things. It's terrible-- yet the best thing ever.

Cherry, like the fruit?

2009-02-28T15:51:00.000-08:00

That’s the one question I always get, without a doubt, whenever I tell someone my last name. It’s like a reflex for people; it’s programmed into everyone’s brains when they’re born. And after a while, being bombarded with that question can get kind of tiresome. In fact, people ask me “Cherry, like the fruit?” so often that sometimes I find myself stating it before they even have the chance.

“Hi, I’m Emma Cherry.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that last part. Emma what?”
“Cherry. Like the fruit.”

It’s become a joke with my friends; they try to suppress laughs whenever someone asks it in public, just because it’s said so often. I even once had a little boy come up to me and tell me that I should marry Brad Pitt, so I could call myself Emma Cherry Pitt.

The other question I always get when I state my last name is where it comes from. People in America seem to think that if you’re named after some fruit, and your last name isn’t Smith or Jones or Brown or Johnson, then you’re definitely from a foreign country. It’s kind of fun to see their shocked and disbelieving faces when I say that it’s from my grandmother, who is half Scottish.

But I guess it’s not too terrible, having a last name like Cherry. Besides the annoying comments, there’s not much else that’s bad about it. Other than the fact that a lot of people tend to think that anyone named Cherry is definitely a porn-star.

Ooh, coincidentally, “You Got Your Cherry Bomb” by Spoon just started on iTunes. It must be a sign that sometime in the next 24 hours I’ll get asked about my name.

Friday nights, concerts, & the Oscars

2009-02-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

I'm home alone on a Friday night (not that this is unusual), and I'm busying myself searching madly for Coldplay concert tickets. I’m dying here. I’ve been scavenging for hour after hour, trying to find tickets, but I was such a bad fan and missed the presale date, and now I’m paying for it. There’s absolutely nothing available anywhere on the internet, except general admission lawn seats and some front row seats for $1,600 (which the tiniest part of me is tempted to buy). And every time I’m about to give in and purchase some lawn seats, I come across some incredible youtube video of a Coldplay concert, taped straight from the VIP section. Someone find me tickets, quick!

Speaking of concerts... the past year as been pretty good for me. I saw Coldplay last July, and I saw Sigur Ros in October. Now, I have a line-up of three more concerts... well, hopefully.

The Killers- April 19th (I have the tickets, but I still haven't convinced anyone to drive me to San Jose)
Coldplay- July 13th (I obviously don't have tickets yet)
Coldplay- July 14th (I don't know how I'm possibly going to find tickets for this show either, plus I need a ride to Sacramento, but I'm pretty determined to find some way to make it work).

There's just under two months until the Killers concert... I'm getting fairly excited to see Brandon Flowers in his tight jeans, up close and personal!

And speaking of the entertainment business, I was very happy with this year's Oscars. To be honest, I usually don't pay much attention to them, unless a movie that I saw and really really liked was nominated. In this case, Slumdog Millionaire was- so I really couldn't help but to watch. And I'm so glad I did! There was definitely a little bit of fan girl screaming when Slumdog won best picture, and even more when Dev Patel went up with the rest of the cast to accept the award.

843

2009-02-21T17:00:00.001-08:00

As my brother put it, you know something's gone wrong at home when you're counting down the days until you can leave.

I have mixed feelings about whether or not 843 days is a long time. It's just about two and a half years, which, in the grand scheme of things, isn't so long at all. But when I put it into hours (I entertained myself in my chemistry class yesterday doing the calculations), it's 20,232. And when I put that into minutes, it's 1,213,920. Which seems like a suffocatingly long amount of time.

The truth is, I really can't stand to be here for much longer. Each hour I spend in this house, in this town, with these people, makes me wish I could just skip everything in the next two years- take a big remote control and hold down fast forward.

Someone, get me out of here! Graduation is much too far away.

F*** My Life!

2009-02-21T16:57:00.000-08:00

http://www.fmylife.com/

I think the best cure for bad days is to hear about other people’s bad days. And that’s exactly what this hilarious site gives you a chance to do.

I thought I’d post some of the funnier and more pathetic entries:

“Today, I found out that I am being sued for losing a set of wedding photos that I took. I lost them by being mugged on the way home after the shoot and £10,000 worth of equipment was stolen from me. FML”

“Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML”

“Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML”

“Today, I took my friend to buy a pregnancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML”

“Today I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser, thinking it was a Valentine's gift , I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog has died since I have been away. FML”

“Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML”

“Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML”

“Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know”. FML”

“Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML”

“Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML”

Feeling better? :)

Snow... and Resolutions

2009-02-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

There was snow, white snow... lots of it! I returned yesterday from Lake Tahoe, where I experienced California's coldest weather (-19 F), a huge blizzard, and all the other proper joys of winter, like hot chocolate, skiing, and lots and lots of snowmen.

It's good, in a weird way, to be home, though. Being away for 4 days was unexplainably refreshing, but as much as I hate to admit it, there are some small home comforts that I kind of missed. Blogging, for one.

And speaking of blogging, I decided I should blog about my mid-February resolutions, seeing as I never got around to making new year's resolutions. They need some work, but I want to try and accomplish all of these before '010.

1- Speak French, fluently
2- Stop biting nails
3- Maintain a 3.7 GPA, average
4- Clean room
5- Improve my photography
6- Save up some money
7- Get my driver's license
8- Volunteer at the animal shelter again
9- Start seriously looking at colleges
10- Sell prints of my photographs
11- Stop eating so much chocolate
12- Finish one of the unfinished stories I have
13- Blog more consistently

Draco Malfoy can sing?!? and other things

2009-02-04T13:44:00.000-08:00

Maybe everyone in the world knew this already, and I've just been out of the loop, but Tom Felton, a.k.a Draco Malfoy, can SING. He has a few videos of his original songs up on youtube, under the name "Feltbeats", and he has a whole lot more available for purchase on itunes, under the same name. It's just so weird yet fantastic to see a young and fairly well known actor posting his own videos on youtube, especially since... well, they're all sweet love songs, and Draco Malfoy isn't really the sweet and loving type.

On the other hand, I have mono, otherwise known as mononucleosis, or the kissing disease. I hate just staying at home feeling helpless, though, so I'm going to try and set my sickness aside and just try to keep doing what I always do. Hopefully that doesn't make it 10x worse.

I've been feeling weird lately, and it doesn't have to do with being sick. I think I need some kind of change in my life, but I can't seem to figure out what needs to be changed. I'm so tired of repetition and experiencing the same kinds of things that I never even really liked in the first place. I am going on a ski trip next weekend, though, so maybe that will make me feel a little better. I've been stuck at home lately on the weekends, and it's getting tiring and suffocating. I want to go somewhere and do something, and actually have real experiences that I can talk about. Instead, I usually end up telling people about the TV episode that I watched on Sunday, or what I ate for dinner on Friday night.

I need something new.

Influenza

2009-02-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

Every part of my body hurts right now, I can hardly move or breath or well, do anything.

Love is watching someone die

2009-02-01T12:21:00.000-08:00

I felt it was about time that someone blogged about the lyrical genius that Ben Gibbard is. If you didn't already know, he's the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie, and their main songwriter. And, in my opinion, he's the most brilliant lyricist that this world has ever seen since Paul Mccartney or Paul Simon.

Nearly every lyric of every Death Cab song is poetic and beautiful. The structure of their songs is usually completely unique, and every lyric is different and somewhat emotional. When I listen to Ben Gibbard sing, I want to look at the clouds while lying in a field on the top of a hill in the middle of a busy city, and listen to the sounds of traffic far below. Take the song "Marching Bands of Manhattan", for example. I've never seen lyrics more unique or beautiful.

"Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

But while you debate half empty or half full

It slowly rises, your love is going to drown"

And that's just part of the song. There's a hundred more, each of them equally grandiose, and each of them echoing emotions that we wish we could say but are only able to feel. Ben's songs target heartbreak, joy, sorrow, disappointment, melancholy, loss, love, hope, despair, and everything else that a human is capable of feeling- but in a sideways, backwards, unsure way. And that's what makes Death Cab's songs so appealing, and so beautiful to listen to. They outline the daily thoughts going through a person's head, in the most indirect but brilliant way.

"'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room

Just nervous paces bracing for bad news

Then the nurse comes around and everyone lifts their heads

But I'm thinking of what Sarah said

That love is watching someone die

So who's going to watch you die?"

Family feuds

2009-01-31T19:40:00.000-08:00

All my family ever does is fight. It's like I'm constantly part of the audience, just sitting there and watching while my mom and my brother yell at each other. They argue about the stupidest things- what to have for dinner, why my brother won't drive any car but his, how someone forgot to take the trash out, etc. And it always ends in my brother yelling loudly, my mom crying for an hour, and my mom's boyfriend telling my brother to go to his room. It's almost like some soap opera, or some family fight that you'd see on TV- except I'm never in it.

I've given up on trying to be the mediator, that never does anything. Most of the time I play music loudly to drown them out, but then someone always comes up to me and tries to complain about the other person, as if I'd take their side. I'm typing this right now, and my mom is droning on in between tears about how stupid my brother is being.

Sadly, I think this is going to be one of those situations where my brother goes to college, and he never comes to visit my mom again. And sadly, I think I'll be the one transmitting Happy Birthdays and Merry Christmas between them.

Addicted to driving

2009-01-30T17:47:00.000-08:00

I had my first driving lesson yesterday. I got my permit two weeks ago, but this was my first time ever behind the wheel. I was extremely nervous all day on Friday, but it actually turned out pretty well, and to be honest... I'm a much better driver than I thought I was.

Maybe it's just the initial excitement of being in control of a $15,000 and 4,000 pound object... but I've become obsessed with driving in the past 24 hours. I spent a good 3 hours driving my brother's toyota around today, and I experienced everything from backing up to parallel parking to being caught in a busy intersection at rush hour. There's just this rush of excitement that comes from being able to speed down highways (I'm not advocating speeding), when the only other experience I've had before is playing Mario Kart Wii. I have a good feeling I'm going to become one of those people who loves driving, who jumps at the chance to go on a long and tedious roadtrip somewhere. It's just so new and exciting and different than what I usually do... and the fact that it's risky and potentially dangerous makes it even more exciting for me.

I secretly like doing those survey things :)

2009-01-29T16:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been hit by a car?
Yes, my friend's mom accidentally hit me.

How long have you been living in your house?
8 years.

What's your biggest pet peeve?
When people write "no one" as one word!

What is the tv last show you watched?
Monk!

Are you a good dancer?
I'm a very very very very terrible dancer.

When's the last time you went to the movies?
Last Sunday.

What movie did you see?
Slumdog Millionaire!

What's your desktop background?
A photo I took at a Coldplay concert.

What's in your purse?
My wallet, a subway ticket, lip gloss, gum, my cell phone, and my ipod.

What's your school mascot/school colors?
The Matadors- white and green.

What is your favorite magazine?
JPG magazine.

When was the last time you played a video game?
On Tuesday (Guitar Hero).

What's your favorite Disney movie?
The Lion King!

What songs make you cry?
Gravity, by Coldplay. And Billy’s Theme, from The Departed.

What's the longest distance you've ran?
I've ran 3 miles without stopping once, but I've ran 7 with a few quick stops.

What was the scariest moment in your life?
I'll have to think about it a bit more, but probably when my mom hit my brother and I called the police.

Which one of your parents do you get along with better?
My dad.

What celebrity would you have sex with in a heartbeat?
Chris Martin Chris Martin Chris Martin Chris Martin Chris Martin... x1,000!!!!

What size pants do you wear?
Size 5.

Who do you love more than anybody?
My brother.

Do weddings make you cry?
When I see them in movies, they usually do. But I didn't cry once at my dad's wedding.

What's your favorite movie, and what's it about?
Star Wars... and do I really need to explain?!

What are your views about abortion?
I don't believe in it, with some small exceptions.

What do you look for most in the opposite sex?
Humor, similar interests, intelligence, & romanticness.

Do you have problems with one - or both - of your parents?
With one of them.

Have you ever been to a funeral?
No.

If you were one of the Seven Dwarfs, which one would you be?
Sleepy!

Have you ever seen a shooting star?
No, sadly. :(

Do you chew on ice?
Always! It's one of my bad habits.

Are you allergic to anything?
Most fruit (peaches, nectarines, mangoes, pineapple, kiwis, strawberries, and grapefruit. But I eat all of those anyway. And grass- but that never stops me from lying in it.

Do you talk in your sleep?
Only when I’m in a semi-conscious state. But I do kick, hit, and... bite.

Where is the most inappropriate place your cell phone has rang?
Probably while I was having an ultrasound for my extra rib, which everyone thought was some kind of cancer.

Do you eat breakfast?
Never ever ever.

Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
When I was 5, we had to write a paper in school about our favorite food, and I wrote mine on dog biscuits. So yes, I have.

How many foreign countries have you visited?
11! France, Italy, Costa Rica, Greece, Turkey, England, Scotland, Switzerland, Germany, Canada, & Spain.

Do you ever get motion sickness?
Only on very small boats.

Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
My biggest fear is of needles. I don't even have my ears pierced.

(I'm not weird, really.)

I threw my lamp at a wall today

2009-01-28T22:19:00.001-08:00

...and watched it shatter into a thousand pieces.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I'm so stressed. Every day I tell myself that it's going to be a good day, and it usually is, until one little thing happens and I begin to break down. I wish it was easier to mend myself, but it's not. It's taking a while, too long.

I ran 3 miles today, without stopping once. That’s the most I’ve ever done- I don’t usually particularly enjoy running, but sometimes it helps.

I just re-read all of my posts so far, and although there’s only 5 others, in the majority of them I sound really depressed. I’m not a depressed person, just a lot of the time I’m… well, tired. I fell asleep for two hours when I got home from school today, because I’m still not getting enough sleep each night.

Anyway, a non-depressing fact for today… my mom decided to buy me tickets to a concert- The Killers, on April 19^th. The Killers are by far one of my favorite bands, and I'm becoming more addicted each day. Don't even let me start on my obsession with Brandon Flowers... his voice is beyond addicting. And to see them perform in such a small venue (San Jose)... it'll be amazing. There’s two tickets, and I have no one to go with, but I don’t care. That doesn't stop me from being absolutely super incredibly excited!

I love previews

2009-01-26T22:06:00.000-08:00

I always hear people complaining about previews before movies, or I know people who don’t worry about arriving late at a movie because they think they’ll just be missing the previews… but that’s my favorite part, most of the time. Maybe it’s because I love movies, and I love hearing about movies, seeing what future movies will look like... etc.

Speaking of previews, I saw Slumdog Millionaire this evening. It’s definitely going on my top movie list; I’ve never seen something more beautiful or sad or funny or brilliant. It was heartbreaking at the right moments, amusing at the right times, and beautiful the whole way through. The cinematography was fantastic, the acting was perfect... if you haven't seen it yet (and you probably have), see it now. Plus, Dev Patel is incredibly cute.

...I love cities, and nights, and music. I could run through the streets of San Francisco at midnight, listening to my iPod, and I’d be the happiest person in the world at that moment.

Happy birthday!

2009-01-24T11:28:00.000-08:00

It seems like it's everyone's birthday today, including my brother's birthday (his 18th) and my step-mom's (her 40th). So I'm going to try and make the most of today, and get out and celebrate as much as I can.

I can't remember the last time I went out and did anything fun.

Insomnia

2009-01-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

I think I have it.

I haven't slept properly since December 25th, Christmas day. I've only been getting an hour or two each night, and I don't know why. I'm usually in bed fairly early, but it takes me hours to drift off... I just lie there; I can never clear my mind of thoughts. I often find myself up at 2 or 3 AM, completely wide awake and ready to get up and do things. And most of the time, I'm genuinely tired. I used to be an extremely sound sleeper, but everything has changed in the past few weeks. I'm still tired, and I get in bed on schedule, but I'm never ever able to just fall asleep. It's really difficult for me, because it's hard for me, of all people, to operate without sleep. And lately, life has been really stressful... and the thing I need most of all is a good night's sleep.

On the other hand, I entered a photo contest today! It doesn't seem like much, but it's my first one, and if I win the prize is pretty much my dream camera... or $2,000. I'm trying not to get my hopes up about winning, but some small part of me thinks I actually have a chance.

Also... I'm going on a few trips soon that I'm pretty excited about, especially because what I think I need right now is to travel and to get away from my suffocating little town. It's so hard to live here, in a little suburb where every kid drives a BMW and gets drugs from their parents secret stashes. It's really not the place for me, and that's why whenever I travel, even 15 minutes away to San Francisco, it's like a breath of fresh air. And over Valentine's day weekend I'll be going skiing with my friend, and then I'll be going to New York City with her at spring break, and then I'll hopefully be going to Paris this summer.

And now... well, I'm getting tired. It's 8:30 PM, time to get in bed for another sleepless night.

Blah blah blah

2009-01-20T21:37:00.000-08:00

I feel like if I don't start posting rapidly now, this blog is going to wander to the back of my mind and settle down with all the other unfinished blogs nestled there. Yes, two posts in two hours is a little much, but there's some crazy psychological thing that keeps telling me I'll forget about blogging by next week if I don't keep strictly posting.

I guess this post will be an official introduction, then. I'm a weird person. Good weird, I like to think, but I guess I can't really say that. I'm a dreamer- way too much of a dreamer. I often create all these crazy fantasies and live in them for a while, until someone pops the dream bubble around me and I realize that none of it was really true. Does that make sense? I don't know, I like to think I have a way with words but I truly don't. I used to be an incredible writer, I'd get A's on every English essay and I'd write poems and stories for fun. I have a novel sitting somewhere in a deep dark file on my laptop, that was discarded years ago when I realized writing was not my passion. I wish I could still write, though. I really do. In the past two years I haven't got anything above a B on any sort of writing assignment for school, and I can't really remember the last time I wrote for fun. Photography has taken up too much of my life now, it's hard for me to multitask and do other things.

So I hope this blog will motivate me to write a little more. Even if it's just ramblings and music reviews and feelings, it'll be something... and something is good, right? Another thing I hope this blog will do is make me more organized. On the outside, I'm such a neat and steady person, but inside I'm a huge scrambled mess. I need to organize my thoughts, my ideas, my plans, my future.

I already know the next two years are going to be a whirlwind. Just a month ago I thought things were bad enough, with tests for school, my driving permit test to study for, and a photography project I was working on. But I was so naive... things are going to get a whole lot worse, and I'm not too sure I'm prepared for that. For one thing, I have college preparations coming up. It all looked and sounded so exciting when my brother was doing it; I even offered to help him with his applications. But now... it's scary. In just two more years I'll be on my own, with no one to tell me how long I should spend on the computer or how much homework I should be doing. There's some good aspects of that- actually, the majority of them are good. But I'm bad with preparations, I'm a natural procrastinator, and I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm thrust into this whole college world.

To be honest, I don't even know what I want to do with myself anymore. For a while it was Berkeley. Then I slowly realized that a) that was too close to home, and b) even with effort I could never be accepted there. And then it was Columbia, until the same realization hit me. And for a while now, I've been enthralled by the University of Washington. But is that really what I want to do? I don't know if I'm cut out for an American college. I don't have a reason for saying that, but it just doesn't seem like the place for me.

So... I don't know where I am, I don't know where I stand. I hope you could dive somewhat into my life from all of that, but it was scattered and random. Like I said, I need to be more organized. Hmm.

On the other hand... happy Obama day! Because... why not?

Yes... we did!

2009-01-20T19:35:00.001-08:00

I've had this blog for a while, but I thought today would be a good day to start posting.

Today... change has come to America. I don't believe that everything will suddenly be better with Barack Obama as our president, but I do have hope. Hope that things will get better (I'm nearly 100% SURE that they will), hope that the rest of the world will appreciate the USA a little more, hope for a lot of things. I know this man isn't the solution to our country's problems, and I know he isn't god- he doesn't have some magic wand that will make everything perfect. I don't even agree with all of his policies (no gay marriage, to name one), but I do believe that his presidency is a good thing. Trust me, if Obama hadn't been elected I'd be hanging out with a moose in the grand country of Canada right now.

For some reason, days like these make me really proud to be an American. There's so many flaws with this country, so many disappointing aspects, so many things I wish hadn't happened- but I'm not going to go along with the majority of the country right now and discuss all the disappointments that America holds. I'm just proud to be an American, I'm proud of my country, and I can't wait to see the change that's coming our way.

2009-01-19T22:04:00.000-08:00